Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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