but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
