Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
