I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Terrible idea I love it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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