Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
