She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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