last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize