I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
