So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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