i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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