I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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