Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
