I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
