hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
