is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
