Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
