Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
