You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
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Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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