ADVERTISEMENT

• (707): View more from California

  I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

  Fav 27 935 2390

  share tweet
  

• (940): View more from Texas

  I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.

  Fav 47 2508 6427

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (443): View more from Maryland

  You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.

  Fav 21 5558 1553

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.

  Fav 10 1030 6518

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind

  Fav 11 3975 1054

  share tweet
  

• (619): View more from California

  You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...

  Fav 13 3933 2166

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (713): View more from Texas

  Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'

  Fav 5 3930 1143

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned

  Fav 4 1195 646

  share tweet
  

• (714): View more from California

  BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL

  (1-714): View more from California

  Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!

  Fav 5 1187 845

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (972): View more from Texas

  also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.

  Fav 0 803 592

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.

  Fav 1 523 836

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope I went the fuck home like an adult

  Fav 1 1013 513

  share tweet
  

• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks

  Fav 4 1178 615

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan

  Fav 1 376 415

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (302): View more from Delaware

  She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.

  Fav 0 311 229

  share tweet
  

Randomize