i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.