It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
