Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have aggressive nipples.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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