Hey man sorry I got all grabby
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
