I wish i was in the wii world.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have aggressive nipples.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
