I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Ladies don't puke and tell
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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