No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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