i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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