things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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