Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
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Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
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Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We're too hungover to prance.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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