i wish there were pregnant emoticons
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
