matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
