call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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