Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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