i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
