can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
