You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
