am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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