"it" just moved
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
