Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize