But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
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No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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