Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
