cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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