i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
