you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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