Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
