I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize