Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
