Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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