You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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