if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
