how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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