She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize