There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
