Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
