I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
They have beer where we have blood.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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