so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
