I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you never un-have a 4some
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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