That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
