I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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