Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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