You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
