Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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