Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
