I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
