I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
