Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
