I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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