so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
